Hello Everyone,
Well no one as of yet.. but everyone all the same.
This is going to be a blog about my self discovery. I will share stories of my goals, my insights, my successes and my failures. I am undergoing a total overhaul in self and sanity as I try and reinvent myself as the person that I actually want to be instead of the person I have been pretending to be.
As a young gay male, perhaps not so young anymore, I have been in a struggle for years trying to balance the sides of myself that I have denied, versus those I could openly share. What I have learned, is that if we deny ourselves too long, all that we have wanted to be, see, touch, feel, etc etc etc... we doom ourselves to a life of misery. I found myself feeling as though I was bouncing around inside a rubber room in my head.. everything I wanted was there.. everything I needed was there.. but I would hide it from everyone. My Friends, My Partner, and My Family. Granted perhaps hiding it from my family would have made everything easier.. but alas.. sometimes the cat gets out of the bag without us intending for it to.
The biggest hurdle was realizing, that wanting what I wanted was not wrong. Instead what was wrong, was denying who I really was inside. A total deviant kinkster.
Now, I am happy to say that I am learning to embrace who I really am, and run with it.
I can tell you that it has been an interesting journey thus far even though it has not been going on long. Over the course of the next week I will post the various stories about coming to terms with my kinkster sexuality, the second coming out as it were, and the fall out of it.
Those of you who actually choose to come along and read about my ride I thank you for your time. Those of you who judge, let me say this, your responsibility is not to judge me for who I am. Your responsibility is to respect me for being true to myself, for it is people like you who I have allowed to hold me back far too long and I won't do it any more. Allowing others to dictate who I am is the biggest regret I have in life, and not one I will be victim to anymore.
